


Graceful Rooms of Alabaster Stone

by Mercia



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Canon Divergence - Thor (2011), Frigga's B+ Parenting, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Memory Alteration, Mind Manipulation, POV Frigga, literally at 5am, should i continue?, unbeta'd we die like mne
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 08:35:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18847441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mercia/pseuds/Mercia
Summary: Frigga just wants what is best for her family.[In which the scene with Frigga and Loki in Thor 2011 has a different outcome.]





	Graceful Rooms of Alabaster Stone

**Author's Note:**

> _Gleaming in the moonlight  
>  Cool and clean and all I've ever known  
> All I ever wanted  
> Sweet perfumes of incense  
> Graceful rooms of alabaster stone  
> All I ever wanted  
> This is my home  
> With my father, mother, brother  
> Oh so noble, oh so strong  
> Now I am home  
> Here among my trappings and belongings  
> I belong  
> And if anybody doubts it  
> They couldn't be more wrong_

Odin looked so still, and Frigga was alone. Of course, she wasn’t truly, and Odin had caught his Odinsleep before, many times, and this time it was not even a little bit of a surprise. But this time, she had only Loki, her other son destitute, and she had to be strong. Loki was bent over, clutching his father’s hand, whispering something so softly, so swiftly and sharply, that it sounded to her ears more like hissing. He had to be worried, she thought.

Frigga allowed her heel to tap against the cold floors, letting her presence be known — a comfort, she hoped. Loki rose immediately.

When her son turned to face her, Loki looked a picture of thinly veiled, perhaps not hysteria, but something close. Not that she could blame him. He’s eyes looked too bright and watery, his hair uncharacteristically unkempt for him. His hands were shaking and he stood as though he was twisting into himself. He had not even bothered with a glamour.

“Loki,” she breathed, willing her voice to even out. She let out a half-hearted smile. “Come now. This is not the first time your father has fallen to his slumber, you know that.” And she brought herself closer to him. Just half a pace away from tugging him into her arms.

“Mother…” Loki let out and stepped forward, falling into her embrace, going almost limp against her involuntarily. He let out a sniffle, and Frigga held on just a little tighter. “I know, I know that...”

She gave him another short squeeze before letting go, her eyes skittering over Odin’s unconscious form over her son’s back. So still, so grey, so old. They both were, she supposed. Though she more gracefully, she hoped. 

Her gaze drifted back to Loki’s and she cupped one of his cheeks in her hand, stroking it softly. “Then do not worry, my son. All will be well. Your father will wake, as he always does. Thor will prove himself. Have faith, my sweet.”

Under her hand, Loki seemed to melt. The brittle, hot frenzy which she had been greeted with upon entering seemed to cool. He was breathing easier now. So was she. If nothing else, she still had duties to do, as both mother and Allmother, even if she felt helpless enough to just...leave things play out. There were always things to do which could serve to distract. And she was good at this, she knew — or hoped, as all mothers do — she was good at being a mother. 

“I know, Mother,” he smiled. “I know…”

And then his smile stiffened, and it was as though some hazing had shifted, briefly, slightly, just enough. His arms dropped from her sides. 

“I know…” he repeated, softer this time. And it was not quite like the hissing before but, it was still sharp, pointed, dangerous. 

“My dear?” she asked, careful, gentle, before he could step away. “What is it?”

“What is it?  _ What is it? _ ” Loki echoed, voice rising, and then he let loose a choked sort of laugh. “It’s— It’s...Is that you asked when he  _ found  _ me? What is it? When he found me left for dead on that barren rock — a Jotun runt,  _ Laufey's spawn _ — is that what you said?”

This time, Frigga took a step back. Something caught in her throat and she didn’t think she dared breathe. 

When she reached out again, Loki flinched back, only slightly, a miniscule movement really, but enough.

“My son...” she began, and then did not quite know where to continue. 

After all, what else was there? Frigga observed the red welts and scratches, half-moon nail marks, on his wrists and hands, a terrible habit he had picked up from her, his mother. What else was there? Loki was her son.  _ Her  _ son. The was nothing else, really, that mattered. At least not at this moment.

Loki laughed again, cold and bitter and broken and icy.  _ Just like Jotunheim, _ she thought before she could stop herself.

“Not your son,” he spoke harshly, all splintering edges. All wild and wound up wrong like a broken loop, a tangled loom. “How can I—”

“Oh but you are! You are my son, Loki,” she said quickly, forcefully. And this time, when he flinched she ignored it. “You cannot doubt that.”

“How? I’m — I’m not even of this very planet. We are not even the same species. I’m a monster! And—”

“That doesn’t matter,” she interrupted, hand pressing tightly on his. “You must understand, that does not matter. Not to us. We’re your family, blood is regardless. Now you know the truth, now forget this and be content.”

Loki’s breath shuddered and he fell limp once again in her arms, as though a tangle of elastic had all just snapped and fallen, untethered. She heard him take three measured breaths. 

“I understand,” he said at length.

_ No you don’t, _ Frigga thought. Because sometimes she did not quite understand it herself. But she understood him, though, her little changeling child. And that had to be enough. 

She smiled though, squeezed his hand in what she hoped was reassurance. “Good.”

“I never get used to seeing him like this,” he sighed, turning away and back to Odin. Tenuous. 

She saw the vine branch for what it was and took it. 

“He’s put it off for so long now, and I fear,” she began to whisper, as Loki had before, but softer. She trailed off, though. 

Loki took his seat back and sat stiffly in it. 

“How long will it last?”

Frigga offered a small smile, meant to be comforting but unsure at best. She looked down again and reached for her husband’s hand. “I don’t know,” she said. “This time it’s different. We were unprepared.”

Even though they had all been expecting it. Even though the preparations which had been made for it had been centuries, millenia, in the making, ever since Thor had been born.

“So why did he lie?”

And even though Frigga had meant to keep her gaze soft, warm — had meant to keep Loki warm — Loki’s gaze was unmistakably cold, still.  _ Frosty,  _ a part of her whispered,  _ Frost Giants detest warmth.  _ She pushed the whisper aside and focused on her son. 

“He kept the truth from you so you would never feel different,” she replied, and hoped it was enough, hoped she had not paused for too long. “You are our son, Loki. And we your family. You must forget everything else.”

Loki did not look away, her gaze still held, but his face was almost as still as Odin’s. As though some feature, some muscle, was broken or malfunctioning, or as though he had simply shut down. As though the mask he held — which she had seen often, around the court, her father, her brother, but seldom around her — was literal.

_ Frozen _ , a part of her whispered. 

Because Loki… knew. 

And Frigga, honestly, as much as she was the Allmother, didn’t quite know what to do. Odin was out of her reach, of course, and Thor — 

But Frigga was the mother of this family, the Allmother. She would fix this.

She sent Loki to rest in his chambers, and he’d stood up rigid and strung taut, and bowed low, and walked back slowly back to his rooms. She sent for the healers to deliver a sleeping draught and went to deliver it to her son herself. Kissed his temple softly, and tucked him in, which she had not done since he had been small. Loki did not protest, but did not oblige either, as though entirely passive. 

His eyes did not focus on her, but somewhere past her, unsettled. He said nothing.

“For sleep,” she told him, tipping a few drops of the potion onto his tongue. “A clear head and a fresh mind to help ease the trials of tomorrow.”

When Loki woke, everything would be...not fine, Frigga knew(she still had a husband and another son to worry about), but better. 

At the very least, Loki would not doubt he was loved. He would know he was her — their — son. This was where he belonged.

This was his home.

And that was all he needed to know.

* * *

 

Frigga sat by her son’s bedside when he woke, just dozing, hand holding his and waking as he pulled it away. She watched him rub his eyes, bleary, stretch, gather his bearings. He tensed slightly at sensing he was not alone, the weight of his title settling back onto his shoulders.

“My son,” she said, and watched as he relaxed again.

“Oh, Mother. It’s only you,” Loki smiled.

“What do you mean it’s ‘only’ me?” Frigga laughed gently, rubbing his arm and helping him relax further. Always on edge, he son was. 

Loki’s lips quirked and he looked bashfully at her. “There is nothing ‘only’ about you, Allmother. My apologies. I was only startled…”

He trailed off, a frown overtaking his features.

Frigga tensed and held her breath.

“Loki?”

Her son shook his head,  “Somethings...wrong. My seidr —  I don’t know what — “ he cut off and shook his head again, forcing the smile to return to his face. “It’s nothing, Mother. Nothing to worry you about. I’m just...”

Frigga let out a sigh and tugged him back under his covers gently, stroking his hair with her fingers and pressing a light kiss to his temple. “Rest for a little longer, my son. It would be helpful to forget your troubles now, before facing the day.”

Perhaps, she thought, she should have had more faith in her sons, but it was safer this way. Better. This was what she did best, after all — soothe things over. 

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah it was like 2am and i was listening to All I Ever Wanted (with Queen's reprise) from Prince of Egypt and suddenly this came to me. and then i just had to stay up til 5am like an idiot. Title is from All I Ever Wanted. I may have pinched a few lines from there too, but this is fanfic so whatevs.
> 
> If you liked it, please kudos and leave a comment! <3 <3


End file.
